Listen, if you have a strong-willed person in your family you know that certain adjustments are made to accommodate. There are the unspoken rules, where, according to that person, they are always right, and everyone else is probably always going to be wrong. Let me tell you, The Hub is a guy like that. He is driven, successful, focused and smart. He is also the one in the house that gets the "always right" award. Or maybe it's the "I always think I am right" award. So, the rest of us compensate for that by having our own unspoken rule. Basically, we have agreed without formally agreeing, that he is never to be right. That is our secret "right."
Recently, our household has been on a re-focused, re-energized kick to be more efficient with things. Money, naturally, but also with our resources, with our time and energy as well. God has graced us with so much. What good are we doing if we aren't using them in a manner that is pleasing to Him? Part of this new efficiency journey resulted in a minor spat between The Hub and me as he announced no one in the house would be going to the grocery store and buying anything without a list from now on. A what!?! He must be kidding, I thought. I work off lists at my job, I keep up with three separate calendars (I mean, duh. How else does a mom do it all?), I manage the finances and so on. I ain't afraid of no list. But when The Hub said those words, all I heard was "I am right, and you will have to admit it."
Since the family and I have this rule that we can't ever willingly acknowledge The Hub as being right, I wasn't about to go down easy with this new house rule. "I do not shop with a list," I said in my most haughty of voices. Who does he think I am? As I recall, there might have even been some fuming going on. This dude must be crazy. Was this really about the list? Or about giving The Hub some ingenuity praise? Eh, tomatOES, TomAtoes, in the end it was about giving up a sacred cardinal rule: acknowledge that The Hub is right.
The kids will think I have sold out, they will say mom "oh, no!" Perhaps, but for some strange reason, I decide to concede to his plan. The next time we went to the store I had my refrigerator list and made a big deal out of keeping it my pocket. I do believe The Hub even asked me where it was. "Ugh. Don't worry. I have it." I pouted. You have to understand, this guy has a strong opinion about anything. Scratch that. Strong opinion about everything. So while that is a joy to embrace, we have to keep our guard up and not let him get too many advances in the house. It just keeps the balance, you know? This silly old list thing just seemed like a sure victory for me. I have a great memory, I think... Okay, so brain cells dying from multiple pregnancies didn't regrow as I had hoped, and short-term memory loss is a real thing, but still. Still. I don't need no stinkin' list, I thought, with a foot-stomp for good measure.
Yet, there I was. In the grocery store with my list. The Hub happily pushing my basket, embracing his bright idea. Was he humming a joy of giddiness? We got only the things on the list and spent only the money we anticipated spending and I do think I smelled the pungent smell of gloating at the check out line. But a graceful man is he, so he delightfully waited until we reached the car to open his trap. "See, I told you this was a great idea." Big, big smile plastered across his face.
So here I write, victory was out of my grasp on this one. He was right. Okay, it's a secret "right" because I haven't decided to go public with it yet. I mean, really. If I tell him how great that idea was, how much sense it makes to be prepared, how logical it is to be specific about what you are doing and avoid frivolousness, why, the man's head might just explode. So I'm doing him a favor, no? Yeah, that's it. I'm helping him. And I am keeping the balance (and sanity) of our home. Good job, Mom. He should be thanking me.
True, we all want our children to take on our best characteristics and use them for good. This morning when Youngest described to me the exact way his toast should be "decorated fancy," with stripes of jelly and butter, I must admit I had a flash-forward. He stood hovering, "yea, mom like that. Oh, that's too much. More on that side." My goodness, the boy is his father's son. He knows what he wants, how he wants it and is not afraid to tell you so. And he is the Youngest. That means when all the others (the ones that bring the balance) are grown up and gone it will be me, The Hub and Youngest. Oh. My. Goodness. What have I gotten myself into...
Recently, our household has been on a re-focused, re-energized kick to be more efficient with things. Money, naturally, but also with our resources, with our time and energy as well. God has graced us with so much. What good are we doing if we aren't using them in a manner that is pleasing to Him? Part of this new efficiency journey resulted in a minor spat between The Hub and me as he announced no one in the house would be going to the grocery store and buying anything without a list from now on. A what!?! He must be kidding, I thought. I work off lists at my job, I keep up with three separate calendars (I mean, duh. How else does a mom do it all?), I manage the finances and so on. I ain't afraid of no list. But when The Hub said those words, all I heard was "I am right, and you will have to admit it."
Since the family and I have this rule that we can't ever willingly acknowledge The Hub as being right, I wasn't about to go down easy with this new house rule. "I do not shop with a list," I said in my most haughty of voices. Who does he think I am? As I recall, there might have even been some fuming going on. This dude must be crazy. Was this really about the list? Or about giving The Hub some ingenuity praise? Eh, tomatOES, TomAtoes, in the end it was about giving up a sacred cardinal rule: acknowledge that The Hub is right.
The kids will think I have sold out, they will say mom "oh, no!" Perhaps, but for some strange reason, I decide to concede to his plan. The next time we went to the store I had my refrigerator list and made a big deal out of keeping it my pocket. I do believe The Hub even asked me where it was. "Ugh. Don't worry. I have it." I pouted. You have to understand, this guy has a strong opinion about anything. Scratch that. Strong opinion about everything. So while that is a joy to embrace, we have to keep our guard up and not let him get too many advances in the house. It just keeps the balance, you know? This silly old list thing just seemed like a sure victory for me. I have a great memory, I think... Okay, so brain cells dying from multiple pregnancies didn't regrow as I had hoped, and short-term memory loss is a real thing, but still. Still. I don't need no stinkin' list, I thought, with a foot-stomp for good measure.
Yet, there I was. In the grocery store with my list. The Hub happily pushing my basket, embracing his bright idea. Was he humming a joy of giddiness? We got only the things on the list and spent only the money we anticipated spending and I do think I smelled the pungent smell of gloating at the check out line. But a graceful man is he, so he delightfully waited until we reached the car to open his trap. "See, I told you this was a great idea." Big, big smile plastered across his face.
So here I write, victory was out of my grasp on this one. He was right. Okay, it's a secret "right" because I haven't decided to go public with it yet. I mean, really. If I tell him how great that idea was, how much sense it makes to be prepared, how logical it is to be specific about what you are doing and avoid frivolousness, why, the man's head might just explode. So I'm doing him a favor, no? Yeah, that's it. I'm helping him. And I am keeping the balance (and sanity) of our home. Good job, Mom. He should be thanking me.
True, we all want our children to take on our best characteristics and use them for good. This morning when Youngest described to me the exact way his toast should be "decorated fancy," with stripes of jelly and butter, I must admit I had a flash-forward. He stood hovering, "yea, mom like that. Oh, that's too much. More on that side." My goodness, the boy is his father's son. He knows what he wants, how he wants it and is not afraid to tell you so. And he is the Youngest. That means when all the others (the ones that bring the balance) are grown up and gone it will be me, The Hub and Youngest. Oh. My. Goodness. What have I gotten myself into...
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