As a parent, you know you have permission to live by that "do as I say, not as I do" rule. If you didn't know, now you know. I give you that permission. There are moments in life when being the example just doesn't work. I get those moments. Often.
Recently, I made the very tough decision to lie to my child. I know, I know, you are just shaking your heads left and right. You might even stand high on your beautifully decorated soapbox and tell me this is the all-time parenting no-no. I would agree with you. Is there room for me on your soapbox? Because I will stand there with you. But, like all things that sound good in theory and look differently in application, I made a choice. I told Youngest his game was cancelled. Friends, sadly it was not.
It was a busy weekend, such as we have repeatedly during the fall and spring sports seasons. Each of our precious gems had a game and although not back to back, they were consecutive. That weekend was going to find mama driving literally from one field, directly to the next field, in the rain...and the cold, for a span of about 6 hours. Perhaps if any of those elements in the equation were taken out of the picture, the result would have been different. But, it wasn't so. After shivering under a blanket not meant for rain and mud at a dragged-on baseball game for Bball Girl, I made the mom-professional, executive decision to tell Youngest his game was (gulp) cancelled due to rain. "No sweetie," I gushed, "the fields are just too wet..."
Now, before you go condemning me for the ultimate mom-sin, realize that I was juggling three and did I mention it was cold? I'm certain I painted an accurate picture for you. Cold. Rainy. Wet. Nasty. Not the kind of day I prefer to sacrifice my comfort level in. As the baseball game neared an end and Youngest was jumping up and down literally in front of my eyeballs, I took a deep breathe and said "Sorry buddy. You're game was cancelled." I just couldn't imagine sitting through another hour of this weather. And, I rationalized, surely I will get home to my warm house and find an email in my inbox confirming my decision.
You know that lying is a sin and you know that I am not advising you to commit any sin, big or small. Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do. Or better said, sometimes we just do what we think we gotta do. Youngest is clearly not old enough to care if the game was canceled or not and within 10 minutes of getting home and zooming into relaxation mode, his thoughts were on other things. Didn't I do him a favor?
Isn't that how we rationalize our behavior? A lie, is a lie, for sure. Yet, when we find ourselves in these tough spots (I mean, come on, who really thinks I should have continued to freeze my face off?) how do we balance the choice and decide we're going for the lie? Probably, we rely most heavily on how is this decision going to affect me. That's what I did. It was about me and my cold butt and freezing toes, not to mention muddy blanket. Usually, our everyday common "white" lies are the same. We examine how is this lie, or telling the truth, is going to affect me.
Sunday, our pastor preached the second part in his sermon series, "Slaying the Giants." This week we discussed the giant of "self". Whew, child. This is a sermon that is hard for most of us to swallow whole. Self? Man, self is usually of the utmost importance. Self guides our decisions, keeps us protected, shields us from our enemies. But wait...isn't that God's exact job description? If self is in control aren't we in fact, not allowing God to do His job? If we could put self in the right perspective, perhaps we wouldn't lie, sometimes. Actually, perhaps we might even let God see us through what we are trying to avoid. Would I have survived an additional hour and half in the cold? Yup, for sure. Did I, mySELF, want to? Nope, for sure. Did I turn to The Hub to get him to co-sign with me? Yes, sir. Did he do it? He sure did. Is God trying to show us that sometimes what is the best decision for us is not what we want but exactly what we DON'T want? Absolutely.
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