Yesterday I confessed to you how I worked up the nerve to branch out and try Zumba. Giving you just a glimpse of how much coaxing this took for me internally, I can only tell you it was a way bigger deal than you can imagine. About 30 minutes before it was time to go I was nervous! Nervous! Over a dance class...
Sad, I know. Thing is, I am not a "try new things" kind of gal. I should be. We should all be. I told The Hub, as he gazed at me in utter amazement, just as easy as it is for him to go anywhere with boldness and confidence, it is equally easy for others to snuggle in the comforts of shy-hood. So what if he can talk to the grocery store lady about football and the gas station attendant about not having seen him in awhile. As if they are friends. I, on the other hand, prefer to reside in invisible land. And that friends, is where I live. Comfortably.
A life of comfort and security is not necessarily what God always wants for us...so I preached to myself, anyway. I worked up that one tiny nerve to try this new thing and found myself fidgeting with nervousness, flipping through a cookbook of all things. The Hub knew right away I was juggling nervous energy. Incredulously, he wondered how that could be possible. It just is. I dragged myself right on out of the house and went to find this place.
Jeez. New people...dancing...music...did I mention new people? Ugh. Not my favorite thing to do. But I wanted to find an ounce of boldness and go try this new thing. After driving around in the dark, I finally found the location. Doors locked, lights off. Huh? No one was there. Good thing I brought the newspaper ad with me. I re-read to confirm I didn't miss some very important detail. Sure enough, the class should have been there at that exact time. No one was around.
When I returned home and explained to The Hub what happened, he kidded me, "how was that drive to the elementary school?" As if! His implication being I was never going to a dance class in the first place. As if I would fake something like that! Well, I am capable of some eventful moves, but this time I really, legitimately jumped off the deep end into new waters. And wouldn't that be just the outcome: no one was home.
I've emailed the instructor and hopefully can figure out what happened here. I got myself all worked up and convinced to try this, so goodness me, it better pan out. Meantime, my nighttime adventures last night turned out to be an epic fail. Life sure does seem to go that way sometimes. We spend all this energy on being anxious and nervous and often it turns out to be literally nothing. The most important thing is that I'm ready to keep pursuing it and won't be discouraged by driving around in the dark (NOT at an elementary school, thank you very much), and not getting the outcome I hoped for. Perhaps next time there won't be nervous-cookbook-page-flipping behavior in anticipation. Perhaps next time I can be a little more normal. Don't you normal people get your hopes up
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